Welcome to On Splendor, a sequence the place we take a deep dive into one person’s thoughts on magnificence, how that relationship has reworked in excess of the a long time, and how they experience currently being found. This week we are speaking to Olivia O’Brien, the 21-12 months-aged singer who burst on to the songs scene when she was 16 with the viral hit “I Dislike U, I Appreciate U.” Element a person of her sophomore album Episodes is out now on all streaming platforms. Below, she opens up about her nose position, why she avoids getting filler, and how she’s been able to get her confidence again.

“My middle-college knowledge was me crying every working day due to the fact I preferred a nose position so terrible. Fortunately, I obtained a person. I had a definitely significant bump on my nose, and I would get designed enjoyable of every single single day. It just grew to become my biggest insecurity by considerably. Boys would say factors like, ‘She’s rather, but she has a genuinely huge nose.’ I keep in mind my sixth-quality crush claimed a little something about it, and I went home crying. I’ve desired a nose task since I was 8 several years old—that was the initially factor I did when I obtained dollars, which is so sad. I glance again now and I was not unpleasant. I was never hideous, but I assumed I was pretty much a gremlin troll I thought I was the ugliest human being on the whole planet, which is so unfortunate. No 12-12 months-previous female really should ever imagine that about herself.

“I got my nose occupation all around 16, soon soon after I moved to L.A. entire-time. But after I obtained it, I finished up hating it, and I had to get a 2nd operation. I went by means of hell it was the worst working experience ever. And then I was like, ‘All my good friends are undertaking this, must I do it as well?’ and ‘I need a boob job’ or ‘my butt’s not big sufficient.’ I started off hating my system and capabilities that I might often beloved about myself. There was also the emotion that I was not executing my make-up appropriate and that I didn’t know how to get lovable more than enough pics for Instagram. You just end up evaluating on your own to absolutely everyone and everything—it’s not worth it.

“I applied to transform up my hair all the time, and it was a coping mechanism. When I to start with dyed my hair purple, I was like, ‘Now I really don’t have to evaluate myself to the quite brunette girl or the pretty blonde woman mainly because I am the female with the purple hair.’ I received connected to it—whenever I wished to adjust my hair once more, I thought, ‘No, I won’t be able to mainly because I am the lady with the purple hair.’ It was a safety blanket. What I have understood about L.A. is that basically every person is fairly everyone’s pretty to the stage that now no one’s rather to me anymore. I don’t treatment about people today on the lookout beautiful anymore it really is not an accomplishment. I would fairly focus on becoming clever or funny.”

“Individuals are usually likely to have their views on you, no make any difference what. And if you happen to be putting up on social media, they are going to routinely think that they know every little thing about you they feel they can see your full life, but they are only observing a sliver of it. You have to remind your self when you get horrible responses that they really don’t truly know you they have by no means had a conversation with you. It is really tough, but you won’t be able to consider it individually. I still do get sad at instances when I see indicate opinions, but it won’t influence me as a lot as it employed to.

‘Love Myself’ was a track that I wrote to force myself to sense that way due to the fact I didn’t necessarily sense all of individuals emotions that I was singing about, but I required to. It truly is tricky to sing something which is intended to be a optimistic anthem when you feel the comprehensive opposite—it’s sort of discouraging. Now I you should not imagine 2 times when I sing it due to the fact I’ve absolutely grown into myself a ton I’m way much more assured and joyful with who I am.

“I perform seriously really hard, each solitary day, at loving myself and accepting myself for who I am. I consider the a lot more you modify about your self, the much less content you come to be. You can find usually a little something else to repair and it is these a risky, slippery slope. I was truly telling my friend this the other day—it’s so substantially a lot easier in the extensive operate to just appreciate who you are and who you had been born as than to do something to yourself, not like it, and then have to consider and forgive oneself for the blunder you built.

“I could effortlessly go to the health care provider ideal now and get my boobs done—I have the skill to alter anything about myself, and I never want to anymore. I applied to literally under no circumstances go away the residence without having make-up due to the fact I made use of to have truly poor acne breakouts and I was so insecure about myself, and now I do not care about individuals seeing me without a full encounter conquer. I get Botox in my forehead due to the fact I have acne scars right down my [“eleven”] traces, and it aids tighten my pores and skin I’ve virtually attempted everything for it and absolutely nothing else has labored. I stay away from fillers, though—it’s form of scary how normalized it has become to get filler. People today imagine that it really is not that big of a offer since it truly is not surgical procedure, but you’re still injecting some thing into your deal with that morphs your physical appearance. I despise that I see so quite a few young ladies undertaking it mainly because it is really stylish you should not improve your overall body for a development.”

“I enjoy placing on new music that helps make me come to feel like a negative bitch I have an affirmations playlist that I’ll queue up or I will pay attention to Megan Thee Stallion. I adore to travel about, roll all my home windows down, and sing random tracks that make me come to feel superior. It really is all a mental point any time I have a adverse thought pop up in my head, I try out seriously really hard to believe of a constructive one in order to counteract it.

“I will not aim all of my self-well worth on what I look like and what other men and women believe of me. I never have to be pretty for everyone else all I have to do is imagine of myself as wonderful. And that isn’t going to have to suit any individual else’s requirements.”

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